I love quotes. Memorizing them, receiting them, pissing people off by using them too often. I especially like the long "Dr. Cox" speeches but, also enjoy short and great quotes. With short and great I don't mean "I'll be back" kind of things, they should at least contain half a braincell.
Well, it might get complicated. We work together. I am older, certainly, but maybe you like that.
Dr. Cameron:
I meant maybe he has neurosyphilis.
Dr. House:
Heh, nice cover. *winks*
House M.D.
Dr. Chase:
How would you feel if I interfered with your personal life?
Dr. House:
I'd hate it. That's why I cleverly have no personal life.
House M.D.
Dr. Wilson:
Did you know your phone is dead? Do you ever recharge the batteries?
Dr. House:
They recharge? I just keep buying new phones.
House M.D.
Dr. Cuddy:
It takes two department heads to treat shortness of breath? What, did the complications increase exponentially with cup size?
House M.D.
Dr. House:
McPhearson? Horrible doctor, I heard he tortured kittens.
Dr. Cuddy:
No, McDonald.
Dr. House:
Oh, McDonald? Wonderful Doctor, loves kittens.
House M.D.
Dr. Cuddy:
I need you to wear a lab coat.
Dr. House:
I need two days of outrageous sex with someone obscenely younger than you. Like half your age.
House M.D.
Dr. Wilson:
That smugness of yours really is an attractive quality.
Dr. House:
Thank you. It was either that or get my hair highlighted. Smugness is easier to maintain.
My Family
Susan:
I know him so well I can finish his sentences.
Ben:
Well, I can finish my own sentences.
Susan:
I know, but it would be better if I did.
Ben:
Tell ya what, why don't you stick your hand up my bum and I'll move my lips every time you squeeze my colon.
My Family
Ben:
Don't worry, I know an old boyscout trick.
Susan:
You were never a boyscout.
Ben:
That's right. But, we used to capture one and torture him until he told us his secrets.
Least I Could Do
Ryan:
What are the chances of you having an really large toilet? Almost, bathtub-like in size?
Bruce Almighty
Bruce:
Hey there first of all i would like to thank Even Back stabber erm bastard ah Baxter... for his success in achor. It's amazing what happens when someone get's chances that should have been mine.
* Bruce turns to an old lady *
Bruce:
So why did you throw the blue heart over the Titanic?
* Old lady is silent *
Bruce:
Why did you leave Leo De Caprio to drown while you were Floating on a door!
* Bruce turns to a random guy *
Bruce:
So why do you think I didnt get the anchor job? Are my teeth not white enough? Is it my hair? Or like the great falls, are the bedrock of MY LIFE! Eroding beneath me! Erooooooooding! ERRROOOOOOOODING!
Bruce:
I'm Bruce Nolan, Eye Witness News. Back to you FUCKERS!
Random
Forum member:
When you judge someone on such a superficial basis, all you really accomplish is to express the limited extent of your own awareness.
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
Grissom:
Dead man don't ride roller coaster.
Scrubs
Dr. Cox:
It's impossible to actually lie next to Jordan. Seems as she sleeps hanging up-side-down from the ceiling, wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.
Scrubs
Dr. Cox:
Mary, Roda. Chart please.
* Elliot looks at Dr. Cox confused *
Dr. Cox:
What, did I stutter? Gimme the chart.
* Dr. Cox reads the patient's chart *
Dr. Cox:
Oh, man, I like his O2 Sats.... Grab me a donut, will ya?
Elliot:
Oh, you mean like a-a blood pressure thingy?
Dr. Cox:
I mean like, a glazed thingy, and I like sprinkles on half of it. So if you can't find a half sprinkles, get me all sprinkles and go ahead and just pick half of them off
* Dr. Cox whistles and signals that Elliot has to get going *
Scrubs
Elliot:
Dr. Cox, I'm so glad I caught you...
Dr. Cox:
And there it is again, that ringing in my ears, it's kind of an *Aaaaaaaaaaahhhh*. But it's more piercing, it's more of an *Eeeeeeeeeeeee*
J.D.:
She's trying to ask you a question
Dr. Cox:
Now you, you're more of a low pitched *Oega Oega Oega*. It's more masculine, which quite frankly is surprising considering the source. But make no mistake! Oh just so equally annoying. Luckily though, I know how to, make the pain go away.
* Dr. Cox walks into a room *
Dr. Cox:
Ahh, much better.
Frasier
Daphne:
Now come now Dr. Crane, hasn't a man ever used sex to get what he wants?
Frasier:
How can we possibly use sex to get what we want? Sex is what we want!
Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson:
A little revolution every now and then is a good thing.
Star Trek: Voyager
The Doctor:
Sticks and stones won't break my bones, so you can imagine how I feel about being called names.
eFlare
* Written at the bottom of my final paper, handed in 5 minutes before time *
eFlare:
Genius minds work slow.
Pirates of the Caribbean
Elizabeth Swann:
This is the fastest ship in the Caribbean!
Anamaria:
You can tell them that after they've caught us!
Finding Nemo
Bubbles:
So, the Big Blue. What's it like?
Nemo:
Umm... big... and blue?
Bubbles:
I knew it!
Finding Nemo
Gill:
To the top of Mount Wanna-hock-a-loogie!
Love Actually
Mikey, DJ interviewer:
What's the best shag you've ever had?
Billy Mack:
Britney Spears. No, only kidding, she was rubbish.
Love Actually
Colin:
I am Colin. God of Sex. I'm just on the wrong continent, that's all
Love Actually
Natalie:
Hello, David. Oh, shit, I can't believe I just did that. Oh and now I've gone and said "shit" - twice.
Prime Minister:
Well, at least you didn't say "fuck", right?
Natalie:
I just knew that I was going to fuck up my first day.
Love Actually
Prime Minister:
We are a nation of... Harry Potter!
Rocko's Modern Life
Rocko:
Captain! You have to turn to boat, we're about to hit those ducks!
Captain:
Well, I like doing that
Reversal of Fortune
Sarah:
He had a gorgeous mistress and he went with an ugly whore?
Raj:
You know, there are some things even mistresses won't do.
Alan:
Like what?
Raj:
I am not telling.
Outlaw Star
Gene Starwind:
So what now, Miss Officer? Do you want to.. "rough me up?"
eFlare
eFlare:
You're either human...or you're better
TV Serie: Will & Grace
Jack:
I think she's stalking me
Karen:
Oh yeah, I had that too, there was this woman running after my car, but it turned out that her scarf was stuck in my car window.
TV Serie: Will & Grace
Will:
Have you been gargling with bong-water?
TV Serie: Will & Grace
Will:
WHOA WHOA!! WHAT IS THAT?
Jack:
That's Pepper, the dog
Will:
WHAT?!?!
Jack:
Yeah, I washed him at a high temperature...
TV Serie: Will & Grace
Grace:
Jack, we've been over this. You can't have a skylight in the ceiling on the 9th floor, of a 12 story building!
eFlare
eFlare:
Creative?! Having a candle up your ass, and running around screaming 'Who wants to cut the cake?' THAT'S CREATIVE!
Kirbymaster
Kirbymaster:
You know what I'm gonna do first when I become god? I'll spawn a baby hippo named Fred in your room!
Kirbymaster
Kirbymaster:
The question whether I like you or you like me is dumb. The important question is, do we want to have sex?
Kirbymaster
Kirbymaster:
Shut up and lick
TerraHero
TerraHero:
The overwhelming pain and stupidity around you have finally taken their toll.
Random
<unknown>:
Guns don't kill people, I do!
Serial Mom
Beverly Sutphin:
The only serial I know anything about is Rice Krispies.
Die Hard: With a Vengeance
Simon:
Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to fair, 'Give me your pies....or I'll cave your head in'
The Simpsons
Milhouse:
First it started to fall over... then it fell over.
Movie/TV 
